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The stomach bug


December 2017, we begin yet another IUI. Since we didn’t get to do the last one, we still had three more we could do before having to move to IVF. This one started out rocky and I was hoping it wouldn’t be that way the whole time. 

My nurse called after the first appointment and told me to go ahead and start taking one of the medications that night. I open the bottle of that medication and realized it was empty. Let me tell you, this entire process is so emotional and the littlest thing can bring on the tears. I’m panicking, sweating, anxious and trying not to cry as I drive to CVS during rush hour, which does allow for more time for me to pray they have the medication. A 15-minute drive took what felt like 15 hours. I get there and tell them what prescription I need to pick up and, I’m in luck! They have it! To be able to do this IUI, I needed that medication, and I needed to start taking it that night. Relief, hope, excitement, those feelings began to replace my panic and anxiety. 

The doctor appointments continue and everything looks good! Follicle counts looked good, hormone levels looked good, I was excited, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. 

It’s finally the day of the IUI. Something I haven’t talked about as I assume you understand what is needed for this process to be completed, is the “deposit” from my husband. The day of the IUI there are two appointments, the “drop off” and the actual IUI. One of us must take his deposit to the fertility doctor two hours before the IUI. This gives the doctor time to wash his sample and prepare the catheter.

I’d just like to point out that my husband did say it was ok to add this in the blog. It’s TMI, but it’s a part of our journey! It’s the day of the IUI and my husband woke up with the flu, and on top of that, a stomach bug. He ended up spending the next two days going between the bed and the bathroom. I of course felt horrible for him, and tended to him as best I could, but to be honest, I was more concerned about getting the sample. I didn’t want to go through all the doctor appointments, blood work, sonograms, pills, and a shot (the worst part) to not be able to do the IUI. As you can imagine, the stomach bug drains all your energy, to be able to do anything, much less to be able to provide a deposit.

While my husband was resting, I took his sample to the doctor for them to wash, and I headed back home. It’s now about 30 minutes before the IUI, and he’s in bed not feeling any better, and we both know, he’s not going to be able to come with me. 

I wanted him to be there, I didn’t want this one to work, to get pregnant and Brad to have not of even been in the room. This already wasn't how I saw us creating a child, but one thing's for sure, I always pictured he'd be in the room! But, I also knew how sick he was, and knew it was best for the doctor, other patients and Brad that he stay at home.

I’m again sitting in the sterile, cold room, but this time, I’m alone. I don’t have Brad there to make me laugh, to lighten the mood, or to hold my hand. It’s just me, the doctor and nurse. 

The doctor tells me that his numbers aren’t where she would want them to be and lists a number of reasons why it could be low. Being sick was one of those reasons. I tell her he’s not here with me because he’s sick with the flu and a stomach bug and was home in bed. Her response was “yep, that’ll do it”. So, although the numbers weren’t where she would have liked them, and as I was already there, we proceed with the IUI.

We wait for two weeks for the next appointment. It’s less than a week before Christmas and I go in to have blood drawn to see if the test is positive. The call comes, and it’s negative.

Once again, we aren’t pregnant. I knew that the chances were small, but I thought, how great would it be if we were?! How great would it be to go home and tell our families that it worked! That we were having a child, what a great Christmas gift that would be! But, that wasn’t in God’s plan.

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