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Break's over


February 2018, we’re back at it again. We began the appointments for the 4th IUI, and I’m reminded of how nice it was to have a break, how much is was needed, and how good it was for the both of us to just have some time away from all of it. Because of our new-found strength and positive mindset, we went into this one with a different outlook. We felt good about this one. We felt good about all of them, but this one was different, this time we had some insight that “everything will be alright” so we held on tight to that promise.  We kept telling ourselves this one would work, that we would get pregnant this time.

I felt like I knew when my appointments would be, and how things would go. I’d done 3 other IUIs and had been to the doctor 100 times at this point, so I kind of had a good idea, of when they would be. So I thought. Throughout this process the doctors would take note of how my body reacts to the medicines and would tweak things a bit each time to help increase the chances of it working.

I thought, that with my first appointment on Sunday, I would be back Wednesday, or Thursday and would do the IUI Monday or Tuesday. During the appointment on Sunday, I was told I would probably need to come back Friday or Saturday. I had a trip planned for the weekend so I was really hoping for Friday.

Not knowing if, or when the IUI will be, you don’t know when you’ll need to pick up the shot. The shot that must be injected a day prior to the IUI. I received a call on Thursday to go ahead and pick one up. This specific shot you cannot get at a regular pharmacy, and is not covered by insurance, each time I need it, I have to drive to a specialty pharmacy 30 minutes away. I rush to the pharmacy on Thursday to make sure I’m there before they close. The door is locked, and there are no lights on. Panic sets in. It felt like I was outside for 15 minutes trying to get in. A gentleman came to the door and let me in. Because of how strong the winds were, they had lost all power which makes their doors lock automatically, and did not have access to their internet, phones, computer system, etc. The guy working was using his own tablet to log into their system, but could only see patient names. He wasn’t able to see what prescriptions patients needed and because the internet was down, he wasn’t able to process any prescriptions or payments. After finding this out, I told myself I was not leaving without that shot, and I meant it. I was ready to do whatever it took to get it. I thought if I have to John Q this pharmacy I will. I was prepared to do whatever it took to get that shot.

I tried to contact my nurse but she was out of the office that day, and the man working at the pharmacy couldn’t see what was called in for me. I told him what I needed, I told him I’d been there three other times, I told him I needed the shot, that we were trying to have a child, and I had to have it before we could do the IUI. At that time, a man walked in trying to get a prescription for his son, I stepped to the side and let him talk to the employee all while thinking of what I had to do to get what I needed. He ended up talking with the employee for a while, also explaining what he needed and why. He ended up walking away empty handed, the employee wasn’t able to fill what he needed. I was panicking, but I knew I wasn’t leaving, not until I had what I needed.

Standing in front of him, not moving, continuing to explain to him why I needed that shot, I think he saw how desperate I was. He told me that he could see that I’d been there before, and he decided he would give me the shot and run my card once their power was back on. I thanked him and thanked him and got in my car and cried.

It’s Friday March 2 and I had plans to fly home to North Carolina after work. My sister was turning 30, and was having her bridal portraits done that weekend. I’d booked this flight months ago and had been looking forward to going home to spend the weekend with her. She didn’t know I was coming and I was so excited to surprise her. I didn’t want to miss this big weekend in her life, but I also didn’t want to miss any appointments. I had an appointment that morning, and had to wait until the afternoon to see when my next appointment would be.

The time in between the doctor appointment and the call was so nerve racking. I didn’t know if I’d be getting on a plane at 5:30 or staying home, and I had to wait until late afternoon when they called to find out. The call came around 2 and they wanted me to come back on Saturday. I was devastated and called my mom who was expecting me to be home in a few hours in tears, to tell her I wasn’t going to be able to come home.  

With winds up to 56 MPH, my flight ended up getting canceled. So, I stayed, and ended up having both blood work and sonograms on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and did the IUI on Tuesday.


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