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The first IUI


August 24, 2017 the day of the IUI is here! After a year of trying, 7 months of testing and so many ups and downs, it’s finally here! We were so excited, very anxious, and so ready for it to work!

The room is sterile and cold. My husband is holding my hand. The nurse is preparing the catheter and the doctor is walking us through everything that will happen during the IUI. There are so many things going on at once, not to mention everything that’s going on inside my head. And then, just a few moments later, it’s done. The IUI has been completed. It's crazy to think that with such a quick procedure, the results could potentially bring us what we’ve been waiting for, and change our lives. 

The doctor and nurse leave the room, and the only people remaining are myself and my husband. As I lay there thinking, hoping, praying, excited, not wanting to move, I reflect on what has just happened, and realize, I could be pregnant! It could have worked! We could have just started our family! Tears start to fall.

In that same moment, I also realized that I could have just gotten pregnant with two women, one of whom I just met, my husband and myself, all in the same cold and sterile room. When I thought about creating a child, that's not exactly how I pictured it would go! There are very few humorous moments in all this, but that was one of them.

Then, we wait.

We wait for two weeks until we’re back for blood work, and then again, we wait. We wait for the call from the doctor to say, “your blood work came back positive! You’re pregnant!"

We wanted to be together when the call came, but my husband had a business trip scheduled and wouldn't be home when they called. We decided to postpone the call a few days until we were together. I was flying to meet him in Austin, Texas for a long weekend together for an early anniversary trip. My stomach was in knots all day. I was excited, anxious, nervous, ready to get to him, and ready to hear some good news. But, I just knew today wasn’t the day. When I got to the hotel, we called our nurse to get the results, “it’s not good news. It’s not positive. I know you wanted to wait until you were together to find out, I’m so sorry.” 

Surprisingly, I wasn’t shocked. I hadn’t felt any different than I had the last year and a half, so to me, that was a sign. I could feel it in my gut, that it wasn’t positive, so I wasn’t taken back when she confirmed what I’d been thinking. I think I surprised myself and my husband when I didn’t cry. I’d been so excited to get to Austin to see my husband, explore a new place, see some of our family, eat amazing food, and make new memories together, that I wasn’t going to let this get me down. Especially when I knew deep down that it wasn’t our time. 


Yes, I wanted it to be positive, and yes I was so sad that it wasn't, but, it was the first one, and I knew there were 5 more that we could do. We knew that once we got home, the doctor appointments, blood work and sonograms would start all over, and we'd be moving on to IUI number 2. 

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