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Pulling the goalie



We wanted to do something big just the two of us before our family grew, so we decided to plan a trip to Europe. In March of 2016, we were in Venice, Italy, it was the last stop on our trip. Seeing Venice was number one on my bucket list, and it was beautiful! But, it was in Venice when I had my first breakdown.  

I thought we would find out we were pregnant that trip, but we weren't, and it was crushing. We'd only been trying for a month, but I was so upset. As my husband and I sat on the rooftop of the air B&B, on an evening we should have been enjoying, I was crying. In between sips of wine and tears, he was consoling me.  
Rooftop of the Air B&B

I mean, the idea is that, you “pull the goalie” (as my husband says), and the following month you’re overjoyed looking at a positive pregnancy test. Right? Wasn’t that how it was supposed to go? Well, we pulled the goalie, but we weren’t pregnant. 

The reality is that there’s only a 25% chance each month of a woman getting pregnant, and having that moment, of looking at a positive test.

2016 was a roller coaster of a year for us. We started trying to start our family in February, in March, my husband began a new career, while also teaching school full time. He was teaching during the day and would do real estate on nights and weekends, in the hopes that he could quit teaching at the end of the year. With him having two full time jobs, he was away from home a lot. He quit teaching in June and began working as a real estate agent full time. I started a new job in November and learned quickly that it wasn’t the right fit, and started to hate it. 

 For me to thrive as a person, I need to be around people, and I wasn’t around anyone, at work, or at home. I started to feel alone. On top of that, we were dealing with the fact that there might be something preventing us from having a child. 

 Fast forward 6 months and in April of 2017, I would be going back to my previous employer, which was such a blessing for me! I would be back around people! God knew what I needed. He knew that I needed people around me so I wouldn't sit alone with my thoughts. He knew that we would be faced with a tough road ahead and knew that I would need to have a flexible schedule and and understanding employer.  

God sure does work in mysterious ways! 

Finding time to celebrating his new career....a few months late!

Trying to start a family got to be very exhausting, and after months of trying with no results, the thought that we may have to research fertility doctors started to sink in. It’s something we never thought we’d have to think about. Months, and months of trying to start our family went by, and before we knew it, 2016 was wrapping up and we were no closer to having a child than we were in the beginning of the year. 

2016 brought a lot of ups, and downs, ovulation sticks and daily temperatures, fertility apps, books and research, time alone and questions left unanswered. It was not how I pictured the year ending. 

With so much time alone and months of trying to start a family, depression set in. 

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